Keeping an open mind

We drove home from preschool this afternoon. A cyclist (using the term loosely to define person on bike since he had no helmet, no signaling ability, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and no sense) swerved in front of me while I turned left when he really should have been stopped on his side of the light where it was red.

"Stupid biker ASSHOLE!" I said, then realized I had the three-year-old in the back. (Again, when the kid swears, yes, it will be my fault and it will be something he learned in the car.)

"I'm sorry, A," I said. "That was a bad word and Mommy shouldn't have yelled. The biker just scared her by riding really, really badly."

"It's okay," A said, "You were expressing yourself."

I stifled the urge to laugh, and said, "Yes, but there are better words to express myself with and I could have used any of them."

"You need to express yourself. You need to have an open mind," said the zen master in the back seat.

"What's an open mind, honey?"

"An open mind is when you listen without yelling."

I'm floored. "Yes, I guess that pretty much sums it up, sweetheart."

Thanksgiving & a week off

(No baby yet.)

Thanksgiving was nontraditional here: mini beef Wellingtons, roasted sweet potatoes, Guiness chocolate cake. I'm not able to eat a huge meal and we didn't want to commit to a meal that takes us longer than a couple hours to make just in case labor starts (which it didn't).

[Actually, the cake came a day or so later because we went to make the icing after dinner and discovered we had no powdered sugar. C and I used to buy powdered sugar by the 40 pound bag when we hosted the big ol' gingerbread house decorating shindigs, and so we're stuck in a mindset where we can't conceive of a house that's not stocked with pounds and pounds of powdered sugar.]

C took the week off, which was wonderful, wonderful. A also had the week off, and I know he had more fun with Daddy and Mommy than he would have had with just cranky Mommy. Because I am cranky these days, people.

We ended up getting to visit the nursery of one of my plumeria society friends, which was amazing and astonishing and beautifully full of poinsettias, literally thousands and thousands of them. He said they'd all be gone in the next ten days. He also showed me his plumerias, which were huge even if they weren't in bloom. A and C had a good time too, I think, although A's highlights were seeing the baby fishes in the lily pond planters and the banana tree.

We knocked some to-dos for the new one off our list this week: a dresser for A (finally, painted in the blues of his choice), clothes for the new one into the former drawers for A, packed most of a bag for labor (because like all other trips, there's that last minute stuff you can't pack until you're actually leaving), a bag for A to have when we're off to the hospital (or when he's off to playdate during labor), and some stuff to AmVets.

There's still more to be done, but we did get a good chunk done. We did not do Black Friday shopping. Nope nope no. I'm lacking motivation for lots of things these days, and shopping was not part of it.

On the cusp

Tomorrow Baby 2.0 will officially be full-term (although still a ways from done yet, I think). Yay! I have to say, the second time around, I was much more concerned about making it to full-term than I was the first time. I think having a friend with a preemie opened my eyes to how much development is critical and crucial in those last couple weeks.

Having said that, this pregnancy has not been as much fun as the last one. I've got pain around my belly button which only gets intensified when I cough or sneeze, which means I'm doing this flailing thing every time I cough or sneeze where I clamp one hand over my mouth and the other over my belly button. I feel uncomfortably large; there's no position comfortable to sleep in. I'm still hitting the inhaler pretty often, which means I'm still shorter on breath than I want to be.

This one's not a kicker like A was. This one's a stretcher and a wriggler. C made the observation that A is still a kicker who bangs his feet or hands against things rhythmically, so we'll see how this one is. I was forever taking walks with A to make him go to sleep and stop kicking me, but this one can't be stopped from stretching or wriggling, which can get painful. Walks don't help; standbys like juice or ice cream don't help. Kid's stubborn, like its big brother and parents.

I've learned that my love of ice cream has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to with being in the third trimester. This time, I've been eating a lot of chocolate ice cream, which I normally can't stand (true--except if it has something in it like peanut butter or brownie bits).

I still have a long list of tasks that need to be accomplished before 2.0 gets here. I'm considering this whole pregnancy and birth practice in letting go and adapting to the now. Yeah.

"Not on the head!"

Sometimes when I pick A up from preschool, he's very tired. I've been trying to keep him from falling asleep in the car so I don't have to pick him up and carry him upstairs. One of the ways in which I do that is to engage A in ridiculous conversations on the way home, because he can (and does) wake up into outraged incredulousness.

When I picked him up today, he looked groggy. I don't remember why, but the subject of diapers came up.

"Oh, yes," I said, "you can help me put diapers on the baby's nose when the baby comes."

No response from the sleepy boy in the back.

"Because that's where you wear diapers, on the baby's head."

Again, no response. When I got him home, he was still awake and needed a snack before his nap, but no comments on the diapers.

He woke up from his nap a little while ago and was puttering around here with toys (he wakes up slow and grumpy from a nap, like his mommy). Finally, he got between me and my keyboard to announce:

"Mommy, you don't put diapers on the baby's nose or the baby's head. You put diapers on your penis."

Vaccination achieved!

I now have H1N1 antibodies swimming around in my bloodstream, hopefully multiplying their little selves into colonies that will prevent me and mine from getting said nasty H1N1 flu and getting, say, hospitalized.

Whew. The injection site is a little sore, but no other side effects to speak of right now. I'll mention it if something comes up. A doesn't seem to have any side effects so far, but he also has to get a booster in a month.

The doggie that almost got away

Last week, A and I went to the beach before swim class. He played in the sand. I've added his "I'm going to be a model" beach shot here so you can appreciate the kind of cuteness we're dealing with.

This was also the day of his flu shot, so he had these two little rubber-and-wire toy doggies that he was playing with in the sand. He'd bury them and tell me he was going to find some treasure, then dig them up and show me his treasure again.

Of course, he's three, so at some point he lost interest in his doggies and wandered off to make castles and dig other holes and have a good time.

This is the point where a seagull came over and took one of his doggies. Not a minute after the seagull took off, A realized what had happened and took off running after the bird.

"Hey, bird! You took my doggie! Shoo, bird! Give me back my doggie!"

The seagull took flight, touched down by the water, discovered that the toy was not actually a French fry, and left it by the water. So A got his doggie back from the bird and we were all happy. He spent the rest of his time at the beach making sure the birds didn't get too close to us by running after them. "Shoo, birdies. You don't eat my doggies."

H1N1 Success!

I've got an appointment to go get vaccinated, next Tuesday at 10:30AM. Happy day!

I should share: Yesterday, among my other annoyances with the pediatrician's office, as I was leaving, I saw a post-it taped over the receptionist's credit card machine that said, "Pregnant moms, $42.00."

I'm that person who asks. "So, can I get the H1N1 shot here?"

The receptionist looked at me like Oh God, we're so backed up, please don't ask me this now. She said, "You'd have to ask one of the doctors for permission, but we do it for a fee." A $42.00 fee.

Let me add these caveats: the Feds are providing H1N1 vaccine free to everyone. No health care providers are paying for it. Doctors' offices may charge a fee for the work of setting up an appointment, coming into their office and having your regular health care providers give you the shot, but there's no cost to them for the actual vaccine.

I'm sure the cost of getting the flu shot varies according to your insurance, but for A, in the same office with the same insurance coverage, the shot is free.

I'll keep you posted on any weird side effects. The good news is that aside from the occasional asthma-related breathlessness, I'm mostly well right now and in reasonable shape to get a vaccine.

The Week of Doctors

Sometimes it feels like all I do is drive around in the car. Tuesday: A at the dentist. Wednesday morning: me at the OB with A in tow; Wednesday after noon: me at the dentist without A, thank God. Thursday morning: me at the hospital filling out pre-admittance paperwork to L&D; Thursday afternoon: A gets an H1N1 flu shot.

Let me just say that while I love the doctors in A's pediatrician office, I hate the office staff. It's like going to an office run by the Marx Brothers, but less funny.

First of all, they super-overbooked. There was no parking available and I had to park two blocks away at Bread & Cie, which made me late. There were thirty people (not including two small babies) in a waiting room that normally holds ten. That's its own little level of hell.

And gentlemen, yes, you with the penises? Stand the hell up for ladies when there aren't enough seats. That's your job. I don't care about feminism; I don't care that your wife's happy to stand while you sit. The mommy who just came in with the seven-month-old needs a place to sit while she nurses. When I'm thirty-five-weeks pregnant and seriously considering giving her my seat, that's your cue to be a man and get off your ass and on your feet.

I had to have a run-around discussion about whether or not A needed the injectable vaccine or the Flu Mist with the nurse. It's not like this is the place that told me that yes, he needed an injectable and yes, they had the injectable available when I called.

"We don't have any more big kid-sized doses of the injectable. He'd have to have two shots if you don't want him to have the inhaled because we only have the baby doses left."

"Well, he's asthmatic and has been hospitalized this year and can't have the flu mist so I guess you'd better get the two shots ready."

"It's still going to be two shots."

"Look, go get Dr. ----- or Dr. ----- and I'm sure all of them will tell you he needs the injectable. Because I'm not letting you give him the live virus Flu Mist and he's not leaving here without a vaccination. Okay?"

She brings in a tray with the two shots and sets it down within arm's reach of A on his eye level, which no nurse has ever done before and freaks him out completely, then waits for me to calm him down so she can give him the shot. She offers him two toys from the treasure chest when he's done.

Anticipation is worse than having the shots. He's wriggly and it's not like I've got a lot of lap to hold him on right now to take a shot. But she did the shots quickly and he cried more before getting the shots than after he'd gotten them.

In doctor's visit news, I'm fine. Baby's on track. The hospital looks, well, like a hospital but the people were friendly enough.

The bad news: most hospitals in San Diego, including the one I'm set to deliver in, have banned all children under 14. When I went to the hospital to do paperwork, the entrance is cordoned off and there's a security guy having people fill out a brief questionnaire: Do you have a fever, a cough that's developed in the last three days, body aches, chills, nausea/vomiting/etc., and are you here with anyone under 14 who is not here for their own appointment or treatment?

So now I'm sad because A won't be able to come visit me and meet the new baby in the hospital. I'm sure we'll of course beg for an exemption and have it not be granted. I'm really sad about it. I feel even more pressure to have a successful VBAC, just because it'll cut down on the time spent in the hospital. With a vaginal delivery, I could be home the next day; I know a C-section is a good--ahem, minimum--two or three days at least (last time, four). Grumble grumble grumble. Maybe they'll have lifted the restrictions by then, but I doubt it.

Dentist visit

A did great; he's got wonderfully clean and pristine teeth with only a few pits on his molars and a beautifully aligned bite. They let him run the Mr. Thirsty water-sucker-thing and the air/water gun, and he thought that was wonderful.

Our dentist's office (still) adores him. And they scheduled me for a cleaning tomorrow and assured me that I'm having a girl. But A assured them that he's getting a brother. So there we are.

On a completely random note: Is it weird to anyone else that many, many interpretations of the religious beliefs of the Founding Fathers seem to be purported by sects of Christianity that did not actually exist at the time of the Revolutionary War? And that the Founding Fathers are all claimed as forefathers to these churches that did not actually come into existence until at least a decade or so after the Constitution was written? Or am I just a bizarro preggo former history major with too much historiography in her head?

H1N1 Updates

A is scheduled for his shot next Thursday, so keep your fingers crossed that he actually gets it.

I am on a wait list for a shot at my doctor's office, and am apparently ranked pretty high up there on the list. All the free clinics in San Diego are offering the nasal spray, which I can't have. My OB is not offering the shots; if I'd gone to an OB clinic instead of a doctor in private practice, I probably would have had one by now (but then I wouldn't have Dr. Wonderful, so there you go). My doctor's nurse said they expected to have supplies by the end of the month.

C is on a wait list at his PCP for his shot.

I'm actually mostly better, with an actual voice and a limited cough. I'm still on my inhaler; I'm still hitting the inhaler every four hours, which is the minimum amount of time between hits. I'm a little fatigued but still feeling much better.

Humility

Every morning, A comes in and wraps his arms around me and lovingly rubs my belly and back, which I thought was a lovely way to show his interest in the baby.

Or so I thought until yesterday, when I realized he's not lovingly rubbing me as much as lovingly tracing my ever-growing stretch marks.

Dia de los Muertos

We had Halloween. A went Trick-or-Treating for the very first time with his friend H. A was a lion, H was a firefighter. We met up with a mob of kids; A and H were the littlest ones in the group, adorable. The neighborhood wasn't super, lots of houses without lights and lots of big hills, so after a reasonable number of houses (under ten), we split H and A off from the big group and doubled back, hitting the houses on the other side of the street.

But A certainly understood trick-or-treating this year. C's "What do you say?" prompts to him for a "Thank you," resulted in a "Happy Halloween!" half the time after A overheard the mob of parents saying "Happy Halloween." He's still pretty cute.

We came home and trick-or-treated at our sweet neighbor's house, where she'd baked a batch of cookies especially for him, and he took off his costume and looked like he was ready to stay the night.

He got a small stash of candy, which is larger than any stash of candy he's ever had in his life. The funny thing is: he asked for a piece on Halloween night when we got home (a Tootsie Roll, a tiny one) and he hasn't asked for one since. This may be an out of sight, out of mind thing; it may be that we had birthday cake last night. But A's candy might disappear if this keeps up. We'll see if the other kids at school today remind him that he has candy.

In sickness news, I have been still sick, pretty much mute all weekend. Today my voice has started to come back and my head's not full all the freaking time, thankfully, but I've not been the world's most functional person. Saturday I took a midday nap; yesterday I fell asleep in front of the TV around 8:30 or so after my nap efforts were thwarted by two fighting cats (thanks, guys). I started cleaning and laundering this morning, which is always a sign that I'm feeling better. Unfortunately, crankiness is one of those signs too, but I've felt that all week.