Bradley Class #6: Intro to Second Stage Labor

It's early here and if that wasn't enough of a tip-off for you that I might be cranky today, I could paint a picture of one small white cat knocking everything off every high surface in this room to better grab my attention, my being unable to find the cat sprayer to convince him that this was not how he wanted to grab my attention, and finally locking him out of the room I am in because I can't find the sprayer and I don't have the patience to deal with cat + gravity yet today.

Class last night was a grand improvement over the last class. Second stage labor means "the part where you push and the baby comes out." We watched a birth film which made six water births look pretty easy, although I did not care for the New Age-happy music that swelled dramatically after each birth. It was a step away from the pop songs during the credits of Japanese animation. Water births make me wonder when you get to shower, though. Even regular baths leave me feeling like I need a quick rinse; with all the stuff that comes out with a kid, I would want a shower.

I also have a hard time with the "practice" exercises. I have a hard time imaging what a contraction is going to feel like, but since it's the contraction of involuntary muscle, I'm sure it'll be different than tightening up any voluntary muscle in my body and relaxing it. I have mastered the squat enough that I don't like to be leaning on the Boy during a squat; it throws my balance off. It'll be different when there's a kid coming out, I'm sure.

There was another couple with a new baby for show-and-tell last night as well. These people were much more interesting and easy to follow. There was no three-year-old and the baby's daddy was right there (I'm sorry, but that did make it easier to relate). The mother was much more linear and articulate than the previous mother; the father quite pleased and smitten with the kid. The baby was five weeks old and cute. This mom went into labor about 7 days early at her baby shower, which is funny, really.

The father was so filled with fun facts, "Hey men, this woman will not be your wife. Just don't think of her that way for that one day. She's going to say things that you just have to remember, she's not your wife. Oh, and bring a change of clothes, maybe two. Oh, and be prepared early." Yeah, we probably need to get some place for the kid to sleep.

The mom was able to talk coherently not just about the birth, but also about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, slings and the like. She even talked about being at home alone with the kid and being lonely after the baby's dad went back to work. I asked her how long it had taken her to become an adept nursing mom, and she laughed (like she didn't feel adept) and said six weeks was when things started clicking.

I found the two of them to be reassuring because the what to do when you get home is where I'm truly concerned. Yes, birth's hard; it's the rest of my life thing that worries me. I've read enough to be able to say, yes, I want to breastfeed; yes, I want the kid carried around instead of deposited in the infant seat all day, but I still don't know anyone personally who does that. It's reassuring to meet first-time parents who are doing those things.

I would like also to give a shout-out to J & T who took on screener duties last night and watched House then sent me an email saying, no, you don't want to watch it this week. I watched Oprah's Monday show on prostitutes and thought, "Oh God, if we have a daughter, now I have to remember to tell her not to become a hooker." I appreciate the heads-up, especially on the same day Save the Children comes out with a report saying the US has the second highest infant mortality rates among "modern" or "developed" nations, losing the top spot to Latvia.