These are the people I would like to give paper cuts and douse in lemon juice this week:
- People who don't use revision tracking. I know people think their writing is so fabulous and erudite that nobody would ever want to change a single word of it, but when I'm trying to reconstruct what you changed so I can understand what that incoherent babbling you've added was actually supposed to communicate, it adds another step and irritation to my processes. If this is a 90-page document, this takes a long freaking time to reconstruct.
- People who don't know how to use the Comments tools. I know it's so easy to write your comments in the body of a document, but there are tools I can use to look at all the comments at once. When I have to hunt through the document for your thoughts, I waste time. Oh, and those of you who feel superior for embedding your comments in someone else's comments? You can cut that crap out too. I see lots of documents a day and trying to decipher whose voice is so rudely clamped onto the end of my chipper little notes wastes my time. At least add your name to the front of the comment.
- People who think I'm a moron. Yes, I saw the edits from someone else half an hour ago; yes, I know to incorporate edits from people other than you. I can even go to the toilet without your help, as amazing as that may be.
- People who can't think like a customer. All writing should answer the "So what?" question of the cynical customer, not be something about how important you are.
- People who are above request forms. No, your time is not more important than mine, sorry. I'm sorry my boss thinks her time is less important than yours, but I want you to fill out the form so I have the information I need to do my job. I will have plenty to do without one more request from you, so it's you who will be feeling the pain.
I've reached the end of my work day and as such I am going to switch crusades from eradicating stupidity to putting the hurt on a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked. Grf!
