The Great Name Update (for Liz)

It's official; we're going to sell the naming rights to the highest bidder because we really want a child named GoldenCasino.com or Qualcomm or something like that. That's why we have no names open for public debate; it's all about getting the kid's trust fund lined up.

I figured I would start some good rumors since being quiet on the subject of names is only making some people anxious (Liz).

At the end of class last night, people started talking about the names for their babies. Here's what four out of five couples said:

• Couple due July 4, having a girl, Sandy-rae (but one word). I don't know if that's spelled correctly, but that's how it sounds.
• Couple due early August, having a girl, Mi-KAY-ah. I know the spelling is derived from Hebrew but I can't find it in under 30 seconds with Google.
• Couple due in mid-July, having a boy, but keeping the name under wraps.
• Mistah C and me, don't know what we're having, some ideas but no commitment to any particular names yet.

Yes, there are some naming discussions happening. They are only happening in the Star Chamber. It's eyes-only clearance. This is for your safety. I don't want to hear, "Oh, it's too bad you picked Name A; I always preferred Name B," from anyone later. You will then forever be branded as the Person Who Hates Our Child's Name. We don't want to brand people.

We're waiting to see what the kid looks like before we name it. We'd hate to tell all of you it will be Andrew or Andrea and then have the kid turn out to be a Qualcomm or a GoldenCasino.com.

I have heard (Liz) that this is making some people (Liz) nervous that we'll have a three-month-old baby with no name. If we don't have the kid named by time it's two months old, I'll let someone named Liz name the kid. Are you less worried now (Liz)?